every kiss begins with kay's Blog

SUMMER 2011 <3

kchunkins — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 05:52:37 +0000

So this summer,
alot has changed for me
I experienced my first death from a loved one
someone who wasnt close yet was dear to my heart
he was younger than me, about 20 years old.
I will definitely miss those pair of blue eyes and that dazling smile
Bryan Hodges will definitely be missed 7.11.2011

I guess after experiencing that tragic incident, I realized that my life is too boring and way too old fashioned
I havent done anything with my life or so it seems
I wanted to explore the world, not fear what shouldnt be feared, and shouldnt worry about things that will become tomorrow’s memories…
So this Summer, I set some places that I wanted to go and things I wanted to do
Like go to LA and visit:
*LACMA
*MOCA
*Griffith Observatory
*just be able to drive to LA lol
*LA city art walk
* museum of Tolerance
*go to a Korean Bar

*go to santa monica pier
*go to the beach
* visit San Fran and SD and SB
*go to movie drive in
*maybe find a boyfriend by the end of this summer or a fling in the summer kekeke

anyways,
Have been in serious depresssion this summer
after trying to find places to go and who to hang out with
I was left stranded and isolated…friends were busy with school and work and some were soo into their boyfriends that they decided to only hang out with only their boyfriends and leave their friends hanging
wen i mean depression mode, i really meant depresssion…
been feeling like everyone uses me when they need me and never constantly ask how i am and that we should hang out
sometimes feel like i should lock myself in a room and hurt my pain away

well thanks to some of my friend(s) who really had nothing to do, which i am thankful for because I got to know him better
he was supportive and there for me…sorta kekeke
sorta been thinkin if he’s the one that is right for me… but then again i cant lower my standards on a guy just because he was nice to me and had some heart to heart..right?
Now that its August, everyone is coming back home and is finally out of summer school
I finally have time to just really hang out with some friends

8.4.2011- got to meet up with Suzie, Jenny, Thomas, Abe, Mike, and Jenny’s cousin who just came from Korea, went to BJs and then went to Good Times for some drinks…had so much fun…but everytime I hang out with this crowd, I always feel like im being left out…like im not fun enough for them or whatever..depression keke
8.6.2011- went to costa mesa with jenny’s family and then the YB&G went to K town to go to a korean bar named Gaam. Was sorta worried that Jenny’s cousin wasnt having a good time especially if all us girls plus their boyfriends were coming but it ended up being pretty fun and hilarious. Invited Matt but he didnt show up but I completely understand why he didnt. Anyways, played a lot of drinking games and ended up losing a lot. good thing i had a black knight(boyfriend) for the night-Jenny’s cousin keke
he drank a lot for me and kept me in mind that i was getting drunk a lot faster the last time. But since he drank for me, I had to answer to his wish. the first time was to dance (embarassing) and the second time was to go to a table with all guys and introduce myself for 1 min. (very humilating) but overall was so fun…
to tell you the truth, i sorta was wavered by jenny’s cousin. after drinking at gaam, we decided to get some drinks at 7eleven and drink in the car. there and at the bar, me and her cousin got pretty close and really started talking. he even started to ask me questions too. i think he sorta forgot that he had a girlfriend back at home when we were in the car. He was very nice to me, offered me some chips first, then stroked my hair in a sorta romantic way and had a indirect kiss with a hotdog..not offering any to anyone else but me…muhahaha…this is how i want to be treated…someone who will notice me and take care of me and not really care for others….
well the night ended…dont know if he’s going back home early or not…but i hope he doesnt
I know he misses life in Korea but there’s so many things to do in America that he stilll hasnt experienced yet and hope that he does experience
plus i just got close with him..dont want him to forget me the next time he comes keke

So far, that has been my summer
maybe will come up with Summer pt 2

to be continued…
if i get a job at aramarks in honda center and if we’ll ever go to vegas again

Last Night’s Dream

kchunkins — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 06:15:16 +0000

So last night
I dreamt of me being married and going to the marriage ceremony
yet my grandpa(deceased) was able to attend
He was in the condition where he was still able to stand on his own
He was able to see me in a dress
For some reason, I feel like this is a sign
that my grandpa will bring me to ” that person”
the person that is the “perfect” man for me
It could be anyone in this dream
yet it was my grandpa (someone i havent thought of for a long time)
I also got to see the guy, yet once I woke up
I forgot what he looked like
I feel like this dream told me that I shouldnt be afraid of not being able to date someone more or less get to find the perfect man to marry
anyways, not really making sense right now
probably will edit later :/

April 12, 2011

kchunkins — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 14:42:03 +0000

So I’ve been sorta busy but at the same time not busy enough to post something on this blog
umm…
so first of all, i finally got a new mac book pro FINALLY!!!
secondly, i met up with Kim, who i havent seen in three years, after graduation
and just talking to her was sorta awkward
I never really thought that ppl could change so much in matter of three years
she really shocked me
i wont add our convo in this blog because its something that i really want to forget but pretty sure that i wont be able to forget since it was so traumatizing
but at the same time, i felt sorry for her
after high school, she wasnt able to keep in touch with anyone in high school
and that’s one thing that i feared the most after high school
almost happened to me during my freshman year but jenny and suzie were able to reach out and shout a hello
ive been trying to reach out to some of my high school friends
but then again, some are not so willing
which im fine with because im making new friends in college(sorta)
but college i so hard to make actual friends that will try to keep up with u
im sorta getting sick of college and really just want to graduate
but i know that later when i do graduate, i will regret some things as well
im just hoping that this year and next year, ill be able to make some new friends and also HOPEFULLY find a boyfriend
Thirdly, I’m finally going to go San Diego in the summer for the hotel internship
im trying to find some time and a place to go down to SD and check out the hotel and the area
PRERTYY EXCITED KEKEKE

Thursday March 24, 2011

kchunkins — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 07:42:49 +0000

So today was a really hectic day for me
didnt really spend any time at home

First I went to the office to hear the Nationwide presentation and also to talk to Gen’s aunt about quitting the company
Gen and her aunt was running late and didnt even get to see the Nationwide presentation
got to talk to her aunt, and her aunt was really nice, but I really do want to quit this job
maybe its not the right time for me and maybe i could pursue it later on in the future
but for now i just need to concentrate on school and getting my bachelors keke
Then i drove to walnut to go to jenny’s house
me, suzie and jenny went to LA to go to this shopping extraveganza
where we paid 10 dollars for admission, free drinks, shopping and spa treatments
we defiteily got some great stuff and bought cute purses
i think i was sorta buzzed or something came over me to buy all these purses lol
anyways.. after we went to an all you could eat korean barbeque place which was so BOMB!!
there meat was so good
Today was just so great
best time i had during my spring break
so satisfied
tomorrow im supposed to meet up with Kim and Gen but dont know if i will
we’ll see
P.S The world seems to be in shambles lately
First, the earthquake and tsunami in Japan
Then, the volcano eruption in Hawaii
and the attack in Libia
Now, the 5.6 earthquake in Burma
is this really the end of the earth? or proximity of god’s calling?

March 18, 2011-LA Exchange!!

kchunkins — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 02:03:14 +0000

So Winter quarter is finally over
and i actually got to go to eat gogi with sarah after our accounting final
after, we went to noraebang for an hour and sang our stress away
came home, and my dad told me i looked like a gained weight
knowing that i did, i went on the weight scale just out of curiousity
and i GAINED 7 POUNDS IN ONE WEEK!!!
i thought it was just water weight but knowing that i ate out every night
I was bound to gain weight
after going on the weight scale i hit the treadmill lol
anyways, on friday (18th)
I went to meet up with geneveive for work and met up with her aunt for training
I feel like i dont really like this job but since it makes a lot of money it looks tempting
i guess money is really america’s greed
anyways, after……..
I went to Suzie’s house to get ready for tonight’s clubbing event
I was the last one there and they were already playing beer pong
i also played it to for the first time and i won wuhoo!! kekeke
anyways we got ready for exchange and we left (me driving)
wen we got there, it was really early and the music was watever for the rest of the night
had to buy Abe a drink since i lost the game, yet he didnt really drink and he left early
like tradition, i would find a guy and stay with him the whole night
luckily, i got to meet the hottest guy in the club
his name was Jerome and he went to Cal Poly Obispo but he graduated a year before i got to graduate from high school LOL
he was the right type to date since he barely parties, doesnt drink as much, didnt smell like he smoked, had a great job or at least has a job and really wanted to get to know him, but he couldnt dance for the life of him
and it was hard to start a conversation with him
he seemed like the baby sitter for his friends and he didnt seem like he was having fun
he did buy me a drink but for some reason he LEFT ME without saying anything
luckily, his friend was really nice
he was not great looking but he was easy to talk to and could dance better than Jerome lol
but when Jerome came back, he backed off
Even though he wasnt that great looking, he seemed more of a match for me than Jerome
anyways ended the night having a pretty great time
but I really wouldnt go back to Exchange on a Friday night
so many OLD ASIAN PEOPLE!!
they were all weird wearing glasses and dancing in a circle
creepy lol

Wed-March 9th, 2011

kchunkins — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 04:05:13 +0000

So last weekend i went to church
found out that a friend of mine went back to korea
to find out that his father passed away

I dont know how to express something so depressing and saddening
I really want to say that he’s in a better place but to not be able to say bye or even get to spend father-son quality time feels so empty spaced
Although I faced a death in the family, I was glad that i was able to express my regrets and my happiest moments with my grandfather before he passed away
to know he was listening and that he will be missed
My only prayer request this week is to:
pray for his family, pray for him, and pray for their lost and to live happily like before knowing that he is in a better place with the greatest, loving person

March 5th, 2011

kchunkins — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 03:13:56 +0000

So I know I’ve been talking about the past nights recently and not what I did today
Which is wierd, but I never get the time to talk about what happened lol
So anyways, last night I finally got the chance to hang out with my girls
Suzie and Jenny lol
So we needed to discuss our Spring Break plans and Suzie’s Birthday Bash
So we met up at Tapioca but ended up drinking at Good Times Restaurant and Bar
LOL it was so wierd going there because now we were legal yet we went to place that served to illegal teens lol
but ya we started drinking some yogurt soju and we started playing the truth or dare game
which i kept losing lol
so at the very end they started to tell me to do a dare which i stupidly agreed
the dare was to drunk text Eric LOL
Originally it was “Im so drunk right now and horny that i want you inside me”
but i wanted to keep it clean and just typed “im so drunk right now. HI :]”
so he did text back surprisingly
with the help of my friends, i got to text him hereand there and decided not to text back
then at 4 in the morning i got a text from him lol “BUAHAHAHA hella drunk texting me hahahaha”
which meant that he wanted to remind me that i was drunk andthat i texted him when i was drunk
which was cute since the last time i texted him was around 11:30 lol
so we did get to talk a little but i felt like i invaded on his space like always
and it always seems like that he doesnt want to talk to me (or at least i get this feeling that he doesnt)
anyways, it was cute lol
at least i have a few memories
anywho!! cant wait for SPRING BREAK!!!WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Valentine’s Day 2011

kchunkins — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 13:17:52 +0000

So today’s Vallentine’s day and im still single without a date
boo hoo
but i did get to celebrate my dad’s birthday with some tous les jour cake

YUM!!
anyways, i was really hoping that i would get a call from Eric but didnt
and was hoping to get a call since its the three day call rule which didnt happen
i guess he just didnt like me but i was hoping that he did
hopefully he’ll give me a chance of love
he referring to God although I already have his undying unconditional love keke
anyways felt sad today and yesterday
didnt really eat much, dont feel really hungry
think im getting sick
darn you cousins for getting each other sick!
pulled an all nighter today working on my project for HRT 390
just finished and now night night ^^ for three hours
but that’s better than nothing
do you think he’ll call me? am i that terrible at love?

Feb. 11-13-VEGASSS!!!!

kchunkins — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 03:35:05 +0000

SOOO…
FRIDAY:
drove to vegas at like 12:30 and arrived in Vegas around 3:30
ate at subways and walked back to Mandalay Bay
went to the casino to look a little more and see what they had
then waited for Jenny’s boyfriend’s friends to come to vegas since they had work
they arrived at 11:30
took a taxi to Rio around 12:30 for the pre party which was not a preparty at all
then took another taxi to Encore to go clubbing at XS which didnt happen because it was already like 3
and the club closed at 5 and the admission was $40
so instead took ANOTHER taxi to Flamingo to go to a club called Drais which was open til 7
had probably a really horrible night but it didnt end there
Patrick, who’s Kevin’s friend, took interest in me last Friday and really wanted to get to know me
which I just acted kind to him since we were both single and just getting along
but at the club, he kept asking me to be his dance partner and bought me so many drinks when i didnt want to drink that much
dancing wit him was horrible!!!!
but then at the end of the night, it was me, jenny, kevin and patrick
so we all left together to Mandalay Bay
which meant that Patrick was staying at our place
BIG MISTAKE!!!
since he KOed and started snoring really really loudly once we got to our hotel room
Then he WOKE US UP AT 8:30 IN THE MORNIN with his magazine flipping and loud thumping
only got 2 hours of sleep that night

SATURDAY:
so after getting two hours of sleep, me, suzie and william went down to get some coffee and bread for breakfast
we talked about our night and the disappointment that we were in
and about Patrick and his overnight sleeping habits!
I really didnt want to hang out with the group again since they were so irrisponsible with their timing
They were wasting our money and time
we came to Vegas for Jenny and her boyfriend and also to have a great time
but we werent really having a great time sigh*
anyways, we decided that we wanted to go separately if we were to see cascade
but then i persuaded suzie and william that we are here for Jenny and for her to have a great time
For lunch, I went to meet up with Susan Emo and her boyfriend for some dim sum which was awesome
We also gambled(winning 300) and had gelato(yumm!!)
Went back to the hotel, took a shower, and went gambling with suzie and william (which I won another $273.90)
After we got ready to go party at the cosmopolitan( to see cascade)
There, the other group was late yet again
making us just tour around the hotel
Patrick was also there clinging onto me like GLUE as usual
and this time i really wanted to avoid him as much as possible
just replied back yes or no and acted like i was tired
then me, suzie and william went separately from the others and played with each other
we hit it on the dance floor hoping that a guy would pop out and dance with me
which DID happen kekeke
so I asked William and Suzie to move to the other side of the club since there were more asian guys on that side
just danced like i would wen i dance and then this guy(that i could see from the corner of my eye) starts moving my way
first, i thought he was just goin to pass me by, but instead, he started to dance with me
amazing dancer
got to know his name which was Eric and he’s a graduate university student at UCR trying to get his MBA
he also djs for a lot of clubs in la and also private events as well
After dancing, he bought me a drink and I also told him about my situation with Patrick
so he would understand my situation
so we chatted about life and relationships
we also went outside of the club to gamble(which he lost)
hit it at the pizza parlor which i accidently dropped some of my drink on the floor from being buzzed
went back into the club to see cascade dj(which he was late!)
danced and knocked out on the dance floor lol
made some hot make outs lol kekeke
and went back to the hotel with Eric, William and Suzie
went up to change and came back down with Eric to go to McDonalds to talk and just get to know each other
went back to the hotel around 4 and sent him back with a taxi with a goodbye hug, kiss and a “ill call you” keke

SUNDAY:
woke up at 9 to pack and check out of the hotel
checked out
went to valet (which i over tipped him!!!!! FUCK!!!)
Drove all the back to Norco and said goodbye to friends
now just waiting for Eric to call sigh*

February 06, 2011-Church Sermon

kchunkins — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 05:14:04 +0000

So today I went to church for the first time in like a month
but I felt that today’s sermon was really heartfelt
it really reached my heart as well as others around me
So the main message was that: even though you have all these things that you are stressing about, things that you are worried for and makes you feel like your life is useless and just tiring, there are other people in this world that are suffering more and having a harder time than you
Those who feel powerless and are in pain
The things that you worry about are minor compared to others that are on this earth
The pastor then showed a clip about a guy who at birth, had no feet or arms
yet he was happy and content with his life even though he went through so much heartache, bullying, and misery throughout his childhood
Although he didnt have any arms or feet, he was able to do most of the activities that normal people do
Although he failed many times, he was able to try and try again
All this time, I’ve been thinking how my life is so hectic and so troublesome, but I forgot to realize that there are other people in this world that are suffering more than me
I never been thankful that I am able to provided with all these wonderful things that people take for granted like a great family, friends, food, shelter, a great living environment, education, my health, or that I even have arms and legs
After the sermon, I prayed so deep that I myself was crying, thanking God for the wonderful things that he have truly provided me
Although I’ve been praying mostly every night thanking God for who he is and what he has done for me, I dont think I have truly understood the reasons to be thankful